Wednesday, 10 August 2011

Hallucinations and the waking mind

A year ago, I started having "weird dreams"--later described by family doctor as hallucinations.  My were occurring at the end of my sleep near waking.  To me, some were fearful, some were wonderous and some just did not make any sense.  For example, during my sleep, all of a sudden a train would pull up in my back yard, and tooot, tooot, "All Aboard."  I didn't know where the train was going so I didn't get on--I'm smarter than that.  At times, in the middle of the  night someone was walking around my house, I could hear the foot steps and the deep breathing at my door (and almost feel the moisture of his breath)--that was scary but actually quite a common one.  At different times I was awakened by a huge gong resounding--a church bell ringing and a dog licking and chewing itself (this was before I got my dog).  Now, some may find this entertaining but I got a dog to help let me know when someone is in the house if I'm not aware.  This has helped a lot.  The person walking around the house knows about the dog--I no longer have his breath at my door or footsteps in the kitchen.  I could always hear him listening and breathing at my door.  Most of these hallucinations gradually stopped.  I checked the backyard for train tracks--it was so real--I began to convince myself, with lots of self talk, that I was safe although scared and I didn't understand what was happening at the time.  My puppy gave me a sense of confidence and reassurance because he could tell the difference between my waking reality and what really was real.  Gradually, these "dreams"--hallucinations stopped.  It doesn't mean that they don't come back on occasion--but now I've downgraded to nightmares--another story for sure--that are related to what has happened in the day just a bit twisted and violent.  Strange how the mind works.  I reassure myself that things will be OK--Me and my trusty 6 pound dog are going to make it through this patch too.  Dream time--ancient, mixing reality with dreams, to discover what is waiting for you in the future.

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